Posted in Life

How I Spent the Winter

It may seem as though I abandoned my blog. It does look that way. Though appearances are often deceiving

As much as I wanted to write, I had a series of catastrophes to deal with. First, my failing marriage– no surprise there. Second, health issues and testing– stalemate. Third, my children (my teenager and his issues) — and dun dun dun home-school.

Situations aren’t as bad as they look on your computer screen.

With many prayers and compromises from both parties, my marriage is improving. Health issues are.. meh. It seems my situation stays the same, which is disheartening. I am hoping my last specialist appointment will help uncover part of the mystery. And home-school.. I know! Wow!

So why did I decide on home-school?

Having a teenager is the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life! They can be so complicated. I feel bad for EVERYTHING I put my mother through!!

My son isn’t a troublemaker. He wasn’t expelled. The school wasn’t helping him. In some ways, they held him back. In other ways, he fell behind with his school work.

So our decision was partially because of the school. The other part was the crowd he associated with. I am not labeling these kids as “bad” kids.  They were guilty by their assocation with my son. I knew how he acted was strange. He started becoming very distracted and unfocused until he started acting different at home, and losing his focus. He never fell behind before. He always made the honor roll.

So, he may not have made the honor roll. Big deal. But I knew, I couldn’t have him around people who were effecting the way he was acting, and could possiblty cause trouble. If he started having trouble in his last year of middle school, what would high school be like?

He already started having trouble with bullying in middle school. What would high school be like? What would peer pressure look like? Would he cave?

Would I have to worry about my son and his ADHD? My son whose impulses are sometimes out of control because of his ADHD? I didn’t want to find out.

So yeah. Call me an overprotective mom, if you would like to. I did what I thought was best.

My daughter experienced some trouble in elementary school. Not in the same ways my son did. However, it seemed beneficial to look for alternatives.

I  did a ton of research for online schools vs. traditional homeschooling, and found an exceptional online school. After a month of deciding, as it wasn’t a decision made lightly, they were enrolled. We needed something different!

Starting school at home was not without its challenges. It took some time adapting to a routine. However, they are doing excellent. I am proud of them. Although it does consume my time, I love how rewarding it is to watch them grow and learn.

People look at us differently because of our decision to home-school. We feel like social pariahs because we stepped outside the accepted norm of society. Though our instructors are as qualitied and capable as the ones in public school, they are also certified by the state.  Our school gives more freedom to your schedule of when you want to do school. Or if you want to work ahead. It allows for more creativity and free-thinking.

And again– the instructors are awesome. They don’t judge your children based on their appearance. Or go by favoritism. My children worked hard to earn the grades they have without worrying about if their teacher was having a good day, and was going to yell at them. Or complain about their job. Because they love teaching.

My daughter was so far behind in math when we came because she struggled. She was being ignored in public school, and not getting the help she needed. She is all caught up with math, and doesn’t mind the class with her instructors. If she learns at a faster rate, they will teach her at that rate.

So school is something good we have going for us..

Over the winter, I went through a major depression. I didn’t feel like doing anything aside from my normal routine, and hanging out with family. Family was great. Forget going outside. Seeing anyone. Talking to anyone. Writing anything. Why write anything? It’s going to sound dumb.

Anything I loved doing– I didn’t have the energy or willpower to do.

I hated how I looked in the mirror. I hated my reflection. Eat. Don’t eat. Sleep. Can’t sleep. Hurt. Hurt. Hurt. 

Depression is awful. It makes you think things that aren’t true. Feel things you shouldn’t feel. What am I supposed to remember again? Crap! Grumble. Grumble. Grumble. 

I didn’t have any thoughts of suicide, but some who battle depression do have those thoughts. If you have depression and have these thoughts please talk to someone– a counselor or the suicide hotline–  1-800-273-8255

More than 300 million people of all ages suffer from depression. So if you are one of the ones who suffer like I do, you are not alone. May is Mental Health Awareness month!

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Posted in Blogging

We Know the Drill.

I am living on caffeine. Coffee. Diet Pepsi. All day.

Since the kids went back to school last Wednesday– I am having a hard time adjusting to the routine. Last week, I thought I would start writing again. However, my mind was thick with cobwebs from not writing.

I couldn’t think.

Tired. Getting up early overloads my brain. Yes, I am whining a bit. Over summer we were lazy. Getting up later. Some late nights.

It seems like as soon as my head hits the damn pillow, the alarm is buzzing in my ears. And I want to lay there for ten more minutes. Girls need a few extra minutes.

I know if I did I would hear the griping from my husband. Every morning I hear clatter in the kitchen, and everyone is asking where I am. I have my own routine when I wake.

Lay there a minute while anticipating smashing the alarm. Turn it off. Put on a hoodie and socks because I am freezing. Grab the kids lunch. Check the laundry. Then, I am on my way.

The first week of school my husband was on vacation. Nothing good ever comes from this. What made it worse, he had a “man cold.” He laid around in the living room of all places– the “center” of it all. On the couch. With a blanket up to his nose. Whining about how he was feeling. Throwing tissues everywhere– he wasn’t picking them up. Watching stupid “guy” shows.

He was cranky. I couldn’t stand being in the same room. It isn’t quiet when he is home– especially when he is grumpy and finds things to pick arguments about. I choose happiness by staying out of the room.

The children, surprisingly, have adjusted to waking up early. My daughter is a little cranky, and  sassy. Her excuse– “Well, I hate mornings!” (Some people would agree?)

I thought my son would be the one giving me a hard time. But he hasn’t. It’s been my wee one. She is doing better this week.

They seem to like school. Although, my son had an issue to deal with, and he fixed it. Then, my daughter was sick yesterday. Her teacher felt her head saying she was hot, and sent her to the nurse– who did nothing, and sent her back to class.

That makes me mad! Seriously? Keeping an eye on that.

We had a wonderful summer. I don’t think it could have been better. We thoroughly enjoyed it!

I kept them reading over summer so my daughter’s reading level wasn’t low when she started school. My son will be learning Spanish and French this year so he knows what he wants to take next year in high school. We do French at home. I am happy he will have a head start!

I think it will be a great year for them. My fingers are crossed. Less I have to deal with.

Once the routine sets in a bit more, I think we have it all covered. Less sass. More with their chores, and practicing their instruments. And Mommy will be less sleepy too.. Coherent and ready to write!

We know the drill. Here is to another year in the books. My third and eighth grader!

 

Posted in Life, Writing

Hello Summer!

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We love summer! Summer vacation is fantabulous! Making the most out of every minute.

Going to bed later. Taking walks. Playing ball. Playing games. Watching the sky light up with heat lightning. Playing in the rain. Baking pie.

Running from cicadas…

So far we have visited the library three times. I want Kayla excited to read, and she isn’t. They have a fun summer reading program awarding children prizes for each level they reach.

When she heard prizes, she was in. Each level has two hours of reading time split into twenty-minute intervals. Six levels total. At the end of each level, the child receives a prize.

She receives a prize, likes to read again, and her reading level creeps back up.  Win.

Her reading level dropped a little at the end of the year from not reading. In the middle of last year, she could read on a fifth grade level, which meant she could read bigger books if she wanted. It was easy finding bigger books she was interested in since she wasn’t reading the smaller ones. The problem became getting her to read them, and then she grew anxious with finishing them on time.

When I spoke with her teacher about Kayla’s reading, she said she wasn’t going to push her into reading because she knew she was anxious. She didn’t want to upset her. My daughter loved her second grade teacher. I believe her encouragement and support would have made a huge difference in her reading habits. Instead Kayla gave up and didn’t read for the last two months because she didn’t care about their reading goals.

I am hoping our trips to the library will make reading fun for her again, and help ease the anxiety she feels. Help make her brave enough to want to read those bigger books. She has such a colorful imagination she could cultivate with reading.

She watches British Castles with me on Netflix. I didn’t think it would interest her so much, however, she likes watching the history behind each castle. She likes getting ideas for Minecraft. 

I don’t understand what the kids are doing on the game by watching, but I know it takes loads of imagination— apparently, more than I have! (You can make amazing things!)

Aside from the library and being active, we have blasted appointments out-of-the-way so we can enjoy ourselves. We investivated the need for braces Friday. Unfortunately, Kayla needs them, and we heard about it for the whole day.

“But I need braces!” Was her lament for everything.

Monday summer vacation became “officially official” when we didn’t have to wake up for school, however, we had appointments the last couple days.

Today we slept in!

Stand-by— I will manage to have some-sort of summer schedule. Just not sure what it will look like at this point in the game. It might be a bit erratic at times, but I will be here!

Wishing everyone a lovely Wednesday,

Lynne

Posted in Life

Last Day of School!

Ohhh yeah!

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Children in our district went to school for a whopping two hours this morning. In about an hour, summer break is “official,” I will hear everything when my son comes running from the bus.

We are excited! My daughter and I are home though I hardly can tell she is here. She is anxiously awaiting her orthodontist appointment to tell us whether she needs braces.

I hope everyone has a wonderful summer break!

Lynne

 

Posted in Blogging

Favorites

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“Favorites.”
© 2016 LC

You are a monster!
Deception- a web you spin!
Your eyes like fire!

You are no teacher!
Favorites– A game you play!
Not caring who hurt!

Stand against Bullying!!

 

Posted in Blogging, Life

Happy Memorial Day!

Been making pies, and stuff!

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However, I wanted to wish everyone a safe, wonderful Memorial Day Weekend!

I know Memorial day isn’t about pie. It’s not about just the pie to me!  It’s about remembering our veterans!

I am thankful to those who serve and have served in the armed forces. Their commitment and sacrifice they make for our safety is honorable.

I miss my dad who served in the Navy– Korean War and Bay of Pigs Conflict. No doubt, we would be riding in some parade throwing candy. My kids would have loved that!

Last night, I watched my brother-in-law graduate from high school. Proud moment!  He doesn’t know what he is doing yet, but he will figure it out.

Six of his classmates signed on to work in the military. Of course, I was teary-eyed. It makes me proud, and anxious for them. Proud these high-school students stepped up to  commit to serving our country to protect us, and anxious because of the ongoing conflict around the world.

They had a moment for the veterans. Had everyone stand who had family in the service. And I remembered my dad, I miss him.  Grief isn’t easy.

As Memorial day approaches, I hope we have fun with our family and friends remembering those in uniform— they are the ones who sacrifice so much for us to eat pies and have cookouts so we can have a day off from work/school to have fun!

 

Posted in Life, Music

My Son’s Band Concert

Last night I had the pleasure of listening to the high school and middle school band play. We gathered into a crowded auditorium for the Spring concert. Where hormones were raging, babies were crying, and parents watched the stage with a mix of joy, and anxious frustration.

My son is a percussionist. He plays the drums. I am not bragging, but I think he plays good.

Because he is impulsive and always has to be moving, (A.D.D.) he makes a great drummer. Though he did not win an award on our band trip last year, I thought he did an excellent job.

If we had different judges, he may have won. He said he may have missed one beat the entire time. Cut the kid a break. He was awesome! (A mother can be bias.)

His favorite thing to play is the trap set. What is a trap set you might wonder? It’s okay. I did, too. A trap set is the really big set of drums you have to sit down to play.

All the kids love to play them, and almost fight over them.

I am not a percussionist. I am clueless between them. The ones I know– cowbell and triangle. Bongos? I could rock those!

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When we arrived one of the “PTA Yentas” had no idea we would be there. Her son also plays drums, and is a year below my son.

[Yenta-a woman who is a gossip or busybody.]

When I went to say hello before I could open my mouth I received–“Oh, you aren’t supposed to be here!?!”

“Huh? Well it’s nice to see you too!” I thought to myself. “And you were one of the nicer ones! Guess I was wrong!” 

She was super chatty with me last week helping with the book fair. Telling me about drum lessons, and the band trip.

Apparently, my son told her son we weren’t coming. Because of this confusion, her son would cover his parts. Thus, playing the trap set.

She hoped he would share his music. Because her son didn’t have any? That left me clueless.

One– Why wouldn’t they have enough music? Two–  Why wouldn’t he share? Three– Why cranky with me?? Geez.

In our band, they have “section leaders” telling them what to do. Who plays what. It isn’t a fair deal with who plays what part, and the band director doesn’t get involved. He lets them handle it.

The children in the band the longest have seniority. They know more. So they have less sucky parts.

They don’t cowbell as often. Triangle. Or Tambourine.

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I know it’s not fair being the small guy. No one likes it. Everyone should have a turn.

It is kinda the same way in sports. The suckier players don’t get to play. They are benched. It isn’t fair either.

At least in band they get to do something, I guess?

My kid was that sucky kid playing baseball. He didn’t make the cut. He liked it, but wasn’t good at it. He knows how it feels to be the lowest on the totem pole.

So, he helps the younger kids in his section. He doesn’t mind. He helped her son when they were going on the band trip, as he considers him one of his friends.

Maybe the reason she was so nice to me last week is because she wanted to know why we didn’t go on the band trip. People do that. Pretend to be nice so they can gather information.

“We missed him! We could have used him!” She crooned.

Well, he was supposed to go on a band trip this year. He didn’t go. Why didn’t he go? Oh, because he has his head too far up his ass. I don’t know what his problem is this year.

No, I didn’t use those exact words, but I was honest. His slipping grades. Video games. Teenager stuff. Because we are dealing with real problems here. My son will overcome them, and be better for it.

So- no, he didn’t earn the trip this year. 

Instead, he helped her son learn the parts to go. When it was the weekend for the band to go on the trip, he sulked. He disrespected his father, and ended up grounded.

I didn’t tell her everything. The grounded part. Because I didn’t feel like I had to tell her everything.

I am sure they are talking anyway. I wore my dad’s jean jacket to school that morning. I am sure it was a fashion faux pas. Care, I do not.

I tried not to let her attitude stick with me during the concert. It was an excellent show! My daughter moving in her seat. I couldn’t keep still myself.

My son playing the trap set made me proud. I could tell when he messed up a couple of times playing other percussion parts by the look on his face. Even though it wasn’t apparent in the song.

He made it obvious to me putting his hand over his face, and whispering about it. Then, laughing. A mother knows her son.

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It was a long show with both middle and high school band, but I prefer it when they present their concert together. Sometimes they do chorus with the band. I would rather hear the band together.

It makes more sense to me. Band with the band. Rocking out.

Young talented musicians. On the rise. Full of hope. It reminded me of my time in high school.

Not that I was a talented musician, but I was full of hope…

I felt like the walls confined me, and I couldn’t wait to bust out. Couldn’t wait to make my mark.

I hope they succeed with whatever their plans are after high school, and never give up. Life may become rough sometimes, but it’s how we learn and grow into who we are. Who we are meant to be.

My favorite songs they performed– “The Voodoo Dance” by Elliott Del Borgo with my son on the trap set, “Uma Thurman” Arranged by Michael Brown, and “Star Wars the Force Awakens” by John Williams.

By the end of the night, any weird feelings I had from earlier were gone. Her feelings are her problem. What my kid says and what we do are two separate things. We were going, and he had no say. I wanted to hear him play, and see what he did all year in band.

My husband hates going to school functions. He becomes frustrated with people, and how they act. He appears grumpy. Even if he actually isn’t. Because he is on edge.

He deals with rude people during the day. I guess he expects them, and has a low-tolerance for them. I ask him why he can’t appear professional? I have a different outlook.

I can understand how he feels. The way people act can discourage a person from attending a school function. Raise your anxiety level. Second guess being there. If you are “worthy enough” to attend.

The “yentas” have made me NOT want to help with school functions despite trying. Like whatever you do isn’t good enough. Like you don’t belong there.

I know I felt that way!

In the end, I had just as much of a reason to be there as she did. People don’t realize how much their words can sting another person, and often they don’t care. They don’t know YOU or YOUR story. They ASSume. It is sad.

I walked out of there prouder than ever of my boy.

He may be struggling a little now, but it won’t always be so. It all just needs to click, and once it does he will realize he had what it takes all along. He will quit doubting himself.

He will realize what I know to be true. That he has the intelligence and potential to be something great. He is the only one who is holding himself back.

He doesn’t realize how important he is.

How the world needs someone like him, and until he realizes it he won’t shine. He will blend in like the others. Do as they do. Walk like they walk. Speak as they do.

He will continue to bedazzle me with his drumming skills. Until one day I am watching teary-eyed as he is on stage as a senior– at the trap set. With hopes and dreams to make the world a better place because somewhere along the line it happened to click…

I am just praying it clicks sometime soon. 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Life, Writing

From The War Zone

Having a hard time today with writing. I am not going to try to force it anymore. Staring at this white blank screen is making my left eye twitch. Ever had that happen?

So I will tell you what is happening in my end of the realm.

My son is grounded. It seems like grounding doesn’t bother him anymore. “Oh, I am grounded from my stuff. Oh well, I don’t give a shit!”

And he is bored! So my mopey teenager’s mug has been in my face the majority of the day. He wants to make his grounding as unpleasant for me as it is for him.

And it is working!

My husband tends to lean toward a “no mercy” ruling. He can be harsh. Then, we end up letting him off early because he is good. I feel like this balances out how the harsh ruling.

In the end I know letting him off early he is less likely to earn his lesson, and become a repeat offender with the same behaviors. So we will have to adjust our ways, and he will have to adjust his.

When he is grounded– I know he is going to be “good.” He wants his things he “doesn’t care” about back. He is bored.

No electronics has made his world dull. The walls are starting to talk. He has read four books. What else can he do?

I can help with that!

I have found a list of things he can do to make himself useful around the house. Points he can earn for each chore to become “ungrounded.” That lasted for about an hour.

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My A.D.H.D. kiddo became bored easy. On the plus side, he did learn some life skills today. He did an awesome job with the laundry, folding towels, and taking out the trash. While remaining on my last nerve.

Our main problem is the video games. His therapist he sees for his A.D.H.D finally agrees they are an addiction. I considered this as an option months ago.

Because of his A.D.H.D, he has a greater risk of picking up addictive behaviors. This leaves him vulnerable later in life to drug and alcohol addiction. This makes me worry because his biological father had such a strong addiction to drugs and alcohol.

We talked about this when we visited his doctor this past week. He said I probably witnessed the same behaviors in my first husband. I did. He would say anything to make me believe his lies. Anything to feed the hunger inside of him.

It’s the same with my son. He comes home after school completes all of his chores– just to play video games. Has dinner hurries through the dishes (sometime before bed) — back to video games. Takes his shower to run back to video games. Then, the game shuts off. We do devotionals. It’s bedtime.

He will talk to me when he comes home from school, and at dinner. In the morning before school, and at night before bed. Otherwise, he has his door shut.

He tells me,“All my friends are like this.” 

It is perfectly normal for him to interrupt me when I am busy writing. Or watching TV. He will blurt something out fast, and rush to his room leaving no chance for a reply because I’m yelling it.

I hate it. He is in such a hurry to talk to me because he is otherwise occupied in the virtual world, and only talks to me when it is convenient for him.

However, it’s getting to be too much. He comes home from school. I find him sitting on his bed with an X-box remote AND his kindle playing games.

“You have an electronic device to play another electronic device. Why do you need two?” I scratch my head. I don’t understand.

When is enough– enough? I’ve had enough! I want my son back!

We let him play games because his grades have been wonderful, so I think–
“Let’s cut him some slack.”  His teachers praise his work. He completes his work on time, and works ahead in class.

Until recently. His grades have plummeted. Especially in two of his best classes.

So we sought advice from his therapist, she suggested limiting video games until his grades came back up, and taking them away if the incomplete work is not turned in. My son’s problem is organization, and he is forgetful. Unfortunately, he won’t let me help with it.

She isn’t aware of the severity of the issue. She doesn’t know what transpired here last weekend. When all hell broke loose.

My son agreed to cut my mother’s grass. My husband offered to help him as he isn’t handy with the lawnmower yet. He knew the day was approaching, but he didn’t know when…

It’s always a big deal if he doesn’t know when because he has to mentally prepare himself to lose video game time, hence, video game addiction. He doesn’t care if he is helping out his grandmother who can’t find anyone to cut her grass. It is taking up his precious time.

So, my husband went over my mother’s to get a head start on mowing and the weather. The clouds looked heavy with rain like it would pour at any minute. When school let out and I picked my son up to cut grass, he had other plans for the day.

After a fifteen minute argument, we were in the car. I was upset he didn’t want to keep his word. He knows how important it is to be man of his word. I am not raising him to act this way.

He was mad he couldn’t play video games and we didn’t “clear it with his schedule.”

“Are you kidding me! You are the child! I am the parent!”

When we arrived at my mother’s, he refused to cut the grass. He sat in the car with the windows down, and helped my husband when he needed things.

He sulked the whole time thinking he won the argument. Not realizing everyone loses.

He lost the money he would earn that day. My husband refused to take any. He lost all electronics. And a pair of drum sticks he threatened to hit my husband with.

It was also the weekend he would be at the band competition– but his grades held him back. I believe he didn’t want to go because he rather play video games. Part of him wanted to go, but the other part– the hunger for video games won.

Making him angrier still– when his plan to play them was taken away.

This is the second time an argument about video games has turned physical, and it has only been this way recently. The physical violence further proving he would do anything to play. Just like an addict would do anything for drugs. 

He argues, “All my friends play video games like I do.”

Maybe they do. But he has a problem. How many of them have A.D.H.D? Are their grades suffering?

They aren’t my kid!

I know he could be doing worse things than playing video games. He could be down the street doing drugs. He could be dealing them. He could be drinking alcohol, running around, and partying. But he doesn’t do any of those things.

However, video game addiction can be as bad as any of those things. It can destroy his relationships with his family. Prevent him from learning how to socialize with people. Further decimate his academic career.

I try my best to get him talking to me. I know who his friends are. Around his birthday he made a new one, and he doesn’t do that well in school. He sits beside him in the two classes he isn’t doing well in currently. I am not pleased about it.

I know it is normal for teens to want to be alone. I try to give him his “space.” I know he wants to brood because he and a girl he dated for a couple of months broke up. He still likes her, and she annoys him. I remember what that feels like.

My gripe is I have no idea what is going on at school. He never brings home homework. Studies for a test. Projects are last minute. Or late. How can I help him become organized if I don’t know any of those things?

Things will continue to move at a faster pace. He isn’t ready. If he is stuck in his “gamer world” and I cannot get him unglued he will fail at life.

I worry about that a lot. I am stuck with him today– at my side.

So, he is grounded and we are not giving in easy this time. Being bored is good for him. He has time to slow down, and think. Which he doesn’t always DO.

He can spend time with his family. Oh no! A teenager’s worst nightmare! Hopefully, he will realize a balance must be found between too much video game time, and “none.” His therapist will have ideas.

I hope this time goes by fast for him, and me!

From Behind Enemy Lines,

Lynne

 

Posted in General, Life

A Relaxing Spring Break!

It is Spring Break! I don’t know who was more excited over our vacation from school– the kids? Or me! We kicked off our first official day on Monday with sleeping in followed up with Mom’s AWESOME pancakes.

We are relaxing today. Though we have been getting things done we put off, too! My daughter and I went shopping and for a haircut, and it was fun! Now we look like ourselves, again! It is amazing how good a haircut makes a person feel.

My son is in his room. Video gaming. As per his usual. He should have come from the womb with a controller in his hand. 

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Teenage boys, right?

My son has A.D.H.D. and I believe gaming is making it worse. The video games don’t cause it though it can make his attention faulty.

It’s all he wants to do. He will half-ass anything just so he can play games, again. If we want to spend time with him. Forget it!

Remind myself, “Who is the parent, again! Me? Right!”

But when this happens there is a big explosion. Normal for teenagers, certainly. But it is bad.

“Video games are MY life.” He says, “I need them to be a video game developer. I have to play them all the time. I need them.”

I remind myself this sounds very much like an addiction. I think  of someone else I knew with an addiction.. his biological dad. Then, I cringe hoping he didn’t somehow inherit his addictive personality. Pain pills, marijuana, booze…

I tell him later that his thinking isn’t sound. After he calms down and is done bawling his eyes out like a two-year old because he escalates the situation which exacerbates the later punishment. Placing blame on anyone but himself.

His dad tells him, “You have to write code to develop video games. A whole lot goes into making video games than playing them.” His dad would know. He does have a college degree in the stuff.

But still, he clings to this hope playing them will make him a game developer. Even though, his grades are slipping, he isn’t turning things in because he “can’t find them,” and he is getting into some trouble on the bus.

But he doesn’t see it our way. Teenagers seldom do when they want it their way. But for my kid, he likes to invent his own version of truths and adapt them as reality.

I didn’t see the problem with video games before. We have carefully monitored his games. He still doesn’t play some of the games the other boys play. I thought letting him play was okay as it was his hobby, and something all boys his age like to do.

But I see the problem now.

He uses them as a crutch. An escape from life. He tells me, “You don’t understand what I go through in school so I stay in my room because I don’t want to talk about it.”

So he shuts everyone out. I have had countless talks with him about how relationships are more important than playing games, and how if he isn’t careful life is going to pass him by.  But it doesn’t sink in. I know social skills aren’t his thing– it’s the A.D.H.D. However, we are his family, and I’m tired of it.

I have talked to my husband about taking the games away. Taking the controllers out. How he should only play for a limited amount of time so he should be spending time with us. He agreed. But he is still acting in that sneaky teenager kinda way.

Before break happened, a fight erupted with a girl he really likes, who happens to ride his bus. He had been smacking another kid upside the back of the head because he was hitting her. He was so gallantly defending her “honor.” (Even though he later told me she was suspended for fighting.) They had a fight in band over Lord knows what right before that she gave him her number. It was the wrong number.

So he came home upset. Not wanting to leave the house. Or go to dinner. Or do anything but game.

I HATE puberty!!

I didn’t do this video game crap 24/7. I had a game system, too, when the Nintendo came out. My dad and sister played in secret until Christmas when I opened it. It was awesome,  but it wasn’t glued to me. I didn’t eat, sleep, “Duck Hunt!” Now Mario Bros…

Point is, I wasn’t stuck in my room. When we were kids, we played outside. Or sat in our rooms and listened to music. I wrote. I went to my friend’s houses. We rode bikes. We didn’t play games all the time. It was boring to sit inside all the time.

Maybe because I was a girl? My daughter isn’t like that. She has other things she likes to do. She is very artsy. She loves to paint, write, and make things in her room. She doesn’t have A.D.H.D. So they are different in that way.

She is playing them now as I am writing this post. She is waiting for me. Now I stink at them. It’s my age. When we were younger, we were so much better at playing them. Guess it is because we had more time. Now I have to remind myself which screen I am on, and I gripe about how much harder it is!

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Maybe more children are playing games now. Only a parent can set limits and decide what is best for their children. We, as parents, know what our children can handle. When we were younger, we took our butts outside. That is where your imagination is. Not in a video game. Educational games, however, can be helpful.

Even though the gaming thing is bothering me and the fact my son is keeping secrets from me– possibly– is totally pissing me off, I am not going to let it ruin Spring Break. I think it could be time for some counseling. He doesn’t want to talk– fine. We will do this my way. He won’t like it, but that is too bad. I am the parent, here. Not him.

A couple of good articles about A.D.H.D and gaming–

Do Video Games Cause A.D.H.D

A.D.H.D and Video Games