Posted in Poetry

Decline

“Decline.”
© 2016 LC

Gas prices are high.
The world continues to fall.
The rich grow richer.

From the archive.

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Posted in Music

I Would Walk 500 Miles and a Remake.

I should have included this in my earlier post. However, I am new with posting ahead. My ADD impulses getting the best of me. So forgive me?

Since posting, I have been singing it. My husband hates this song. What about you? How do you feel about this catchy 80’s song?

I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)- The Proclaimers

I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)- Sleeping At Last

And the remake?

I think the remake is very pretty. Depends on what mood you are in as to what you would want to listen to. Some people don’t like remakes. They might feel they are betraying the original artist. Conversely, others may love the remake thinking the original was shit..

Remember?
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Posted in General, Life

A Relaxing Spring Break!

It is Spring Break! I don’t know who was more excited over our vacation from school– the kids? Or me! We kicked off our first official day on Monday with sleeping in followed up with Mom’s AWESOME pancakes.

We are relaxing today. Though we have been getting things done we put off, too! My daughter and I went shopping and for a haircut, and it was fun! Now we look like ourselves, again! It is amazing how good a haircut makes a person feel.

My son is in his room. Video gaming. As per his usual. He should have come from the womb with a controller in his hand. 

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Teenage boys, right?

My son has A.D.H.D. and I believe gaming is making it worse. The video games don’t cause it though it can make his attention faulty.

It’s all he wants to do. He will half-ass anything just so he can play games, again. If we want to spend time with him. Forget it!

Remind myself, “Who is the parent, again! Me? Right!”

But when this happens there is a big explosion. Normal for teenagers, certainly. But it is bad.

“Video games are MY life.” He says, “I need them to be a video game developer. I have to play them all the time. I need them.”

I remind myself this sounds very much like an addiction. I think  of someone else I knew with an addiction.. his biological dad. Then, I cringe hoping he didn’t somehow inherit his addictive personality. Pain pills, marijuana, booze…

I tell him later that his thinking isn’t sound. After he calms down and is done bawling his eyes out like a two-year old because he escalates the situation which exacerbates the later punishment. Placing blame on anyone but himself.

His dad tells him, “You have to write code to develop video games. A whole lot goes into making video games than playing them.” His dad would know. He does have a college degree in the stuff.

But still, he clings to this hope playing them will make him a game developer. Even though, his grades are slipping, he isn’t turning things in because he “can’t find them,” and he is getting into some trouble on the bus.

But he doesn’t see it our way. Teenagers seldom do when they want it their way. But for my kid, he likes to invent his own version of truths and adapt them as reality.

I didn’t see the problem with video games before. We have carefully monitored his games. He still doesn’t play some of the games the other boys play. I thought letting him play was okay as it was his hobby, and something all boys his age like to do.

But I see the problem now.

He uses them as a crutch. An escape from life. He tells me, “You don’t understand what I go through in school so I stay in my room because I don’t want to talk about it.”

So he shuts everyone out. I have had countless talks with him about how relationships are more important than playing games, and how if he isn’t careful life is going to pass him by.  But it doesn’t sink in. I know social skills aren’t his thing– it’s the A.D.H.D. However, we are his family, and I’m tired of it.

I have talked to my husband about taking the games away. Taking the controllers out. How he should only play for a limited amount of time so he should be spending time with us. He agreed. But he is still acting in that sneaky teenager kinda way.

Before break happened, a fight erupted with a girl he really likes, who happens to ride his bus. He had been smacking another kid upside the back of the head because he was hitting her. He was so gallantly defending her “honor.” (Even though he later told me she was suspended for fighting.) They had a fight in band over Lord knows what right before that she gave him her number. It was the wrong number.

So he came home upset. Not wanting to leave the house. Or go to dinner. Or do anything but game.

I HATE puberty!!

I didn’t do this video game crap 24/7. I had a game system, too, when the Nintendo came out. My dad and sister played in secret until Christmas when I opened it. It was awesome,  but it wasn’t glued to me. I didn’t eat, sleep, “Duck Hunt!” Now Mario Bros…

Point is, I wasn’t stuck in my room. When we were kids, we played outside. Or sat in our rooms and listened to music. I wrote. I went to my friend’s houses. We rode bikes. We didn’t play games all the time. It was boring to sit inside all the time.

Maybe because I was a girl? My daughter isn’t like that. She has other things she likes to do. She is very artsy. She loves to paint, write, and make things in her room. She doesn’t have A.D.H.D. So they are different in that way.

She is playing them now as I am writing this post. She is waiting for me. Now I stink at them. It’s my age. When we were younger, we were so much better at playing them. Guess it is because we had more time. Now I have to remind myself which screen I am on, and I gripe about how much harder it is!

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Maybe more children are playing games now. Only a parent can set limits and decide what is best for their children. We, as parents, know what our children can handle. When we were younger, we took our butts outside. That is where your imagination is. Not in a video game. Educational games, however, can be helpful.

Even though the gaming thing is bothering me and the fact my son is keeping secrets from me– possibly– is totally pissing me off, I am not going to let it ruin Spring Break. I think it could be time for some counseling. He doesn’t want to talk– fine. We will do this my way. He won’t like it, but that is too bad. I am the parent, here. Not him.

A couple of good articles about A.D.H.D and gaming–

Do Video Games Cause A.D.H.D

A.D.H.D and Video Games

 

Posted in General

Making it Happen.

I am wearer of many hats.

Mom, Wife, Daughter, Sister.

Writer. Helper.

For a long time, I’ve had a dream of being a writer. Having a blog and writing a book.

I am talking life-long dream. Since I was a kid dream. Writing stories and poems for friends. Stupid kid stories about dogs and teddy bears that I was going to publish. But I had imagination. Now I can’t even decide WHAT to write about.

I have taken classes about writing. My instructor told me, “You have potential. Though you have too many things going on right now, and it is sucking your energy out of you. That is why you are having trouble writing.”

I love to read. And I love to write. Though I don’t make time for either of them. I have too many things to do. I’m an obsessive house cleaner. Errand runner. Cell looker at-er. Admittedly.

When I do have time to write, I have intense anxiety. Plagued with “blank-page phobia”. I don’t know what I will write about. I suddenly grapple over which word would grab the readers attention. Which one would be prettier on the page. Then, I get distracted–

Don’t I have something to clean?

Then, I come back. Stare at the computer s’more. To the point of annoyance. Until I shut it down because nothing productive is happening here. Do the same thing the next day, if I have time.

I worry too much about what others will think about what I write. Will my family find my blog here. What will they think?

Now I am to the point so what if they do? This is how I feel. I can’t apologize for it.

It is time to do something for me, and this is me. I won’t apologize for being me. Take it or leave it, what you see is what you get. W.Y.S.I.W.Y.G.

Posted in Blogging, Life

A Day I Would Like to Forget.

Write about a day you’d like to forget.

Since running into my ex the other day, I have been thinking of why he could not face me. Why after three years, he had to look away. . He is a coward.

Not me. I can fess up to my mistakes. I wish we never ran into each other. It never happens.

I wish I could rewind three years, and take it all back. I wonder if anything would be different. If things with my husband would be better.

Such a liar…

I don’t understand how someone could be so cold. So uncaring. How a person’s words could have no meaning attached to them. He has done this to multiple girls.

It’s not like it was his first offense.

Looking everywhere but AT ME really? It all means nothing now. I would have at least said, “Hey, how are ya?”

It’s done and over now.

If a person has no feelings for the other person, it should not be an issue. Or the other person could just be an asshole. Ha!

 

Posted in Blogging

Sense8– One of the Newest Netflix Originals. Review. Episode 1.

SENSE8-

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One of the newest Netflix Originals available! I think I like it.  The concept is interesting. We watched the season in its entity in three days.

Having said that, I wanted to start doing reviews of the episodes to try something new.  Upcoming spoilers– you were warned!

A couple of things–

Sense8 is NOT a show you can watch out-of-order. Or you will be lost.

I never quite understood the concept of jumping in from a middle episode anyway. You miss important key factors doing it that way. A

nother thing is– it’s a graphic show. I mean, REALLY, GRAPHIC.

I don’t understand why more television shows feel the need to go all out “porn-o” on the love scenes. What happened to less is more? Or implying it?

The concept behind Sense8–

A “cluster” of people connected to each other inside the same body. A person can be present at home yet will their spirit to be at another place with one of the others inside of their cluster of eight.  They can all be present at once or solo at different times when they need each other. They have a psychic connection.

They can feel what the other feels emotionally, mentally, and physically.

Inside the cluster-

Will– the  Cop — in Chicago

Riley- the DJ– in London

Lito- the Actor- in Mexico City

Sun- the VP/Chief Financial Officer of her Father’s Company– Kick-boxer-Seoul

Kala-Pharmacist– Mumbai

Wolfgang- Locksmith/Thief– Berlin

Cepheus-  Skilled- Bus Driver– Nairobi

Nomi- Transgender Female- Vlogger/Hacker– San Francisco

Episode One– Limbic Resonance

Starts with Angelica and Jonas. Only Jonas is not physically there.

Angelica is the “Mother” of the cluster, and “births” them.

She is present throughout the episode trying to help guide the eight toward their new birth.

Angelica is fearful, and in pain during the scene. She takes drugs to hide from someone we have not yet encountered. She furnishes a gun.

Jonas tries to comfort her. Tells her they will be in danger whether “they” are born or not.

“None of us were ever as strong as you.” He says.

She starts seeing them, and tells him to “Protect them.”

He assures her he will “Always be here.” 

The man they’ve been hiding from materializes. First, spiritually.

His name is “Whispers.” Suits him. He is whispering in her ear.

Angelica engages in conversation with both men.

She tells Jonas she loves him though Whispers asks, “Does he know you are lying? Or is that still our little secret?” She tells Jonas to go.

Whispers taunts her more. Telling her she is “one of them.” He will “meet Jonas soon.”

“He is taking her home with him. There is work to be done.”

He walks into the abandoned building. Sees her sitting on the tattered mattress, and before they can take her as ordered— BANG!!

We flash to Will the cop in Chicago. Will dreams of a girl he couldn’t help. Pleading for help. Haunting him.

He wakes up with the bang and seeing Angelica. He has a headache, and hears loud music he thinking it is coming from next door only there is nothing there…

We flash to Riley in London.. Loud music blasting, and bright lights scatter about the floor as she spins. (Make the connection–  it’s what Will is hearing)

Jacks, Nocker, and Nyx talk about what an excellent DJ she is. They bring up her vision of Angelica. Embarrassed she blames drugs.

We meet Lito in Mexico City. He has trouble remembering his lines, and doesn’t feel like himself.

His director asks him, “What is up? Yesterday he had “visions of suicidal angels?” Tells him he needs him to be “in character.”

In Seoul, Sun tries to take her brother’s place in a meeting to close a deal.

The client is rude. Cracks a joke about women making Sun tense as her brother shows up asking her to bring them coffee.Caught off guard she sees Angelica.

Back in London, Nyx talks about a chemical called DMT. People see their birth/death, worlds beyond this one, when they take it. He calls it limbic resonance.

In India, Kala is getting ready to go to work at her fiance’s pharmaceutical company. She hears rain, and looks for an umbrella. Only there is no rain.Her father thinks she should stay home. He is overjoyed she is getting married, and sad at the same time.

We’re at a funeral in Moscow in the pouring RAIN. (Make the connection?) Wolfgang has a migraine. His cousin is talking about a score like it’s a competition. Who is a better thief? His friend Felix is with him.

We meet Cepheus in Africa. He’s taking care of his mother. We eventually learn she has AIDS.

He tells her, “It’s going to be a good day.”

Suddenly, we are thrown into a very sexual scene between Nomi and Amanita. They talk about, “Happy Pride.”

Meanwhile, in Mexico City Lito is practicing. He’s getting “ready” for his love scene. A nun comes in his trailer, and notices he’s “happy.” She wants to help..

He tells her his heart belongs to someone else.

At the funeral, Wolfgang’s Aunt and Uncle tells him to pay respects to his father while he is at the cemetery. We learn he has some daddy issues, and must not have liked his father much…

Cepheus and Jela are struggling trying to find customers… A man boards the bus paying with a chicken.

A chicken that lands on Sun’s desk. She thinks she can see and hear it. Only it’s not there.The bank calls again, she avoids the call.

Riley comes down from her apartment. Nyx, Nocker, and Jacks are talking. They want to go to Nyx’s apartment because he’s invited them. Riley doesn’t want to go. She has a headache. She says tomorrow.

Jacks promises Nyx has the stuff she “needs.”

She flashes to where Nomi and Amanita are in San Francisco celebrating PRIDE day. Nomi and Amanita are eating, and talking about their first LGBT pride. Nomi loved her sticking up for her. It was the day she knew “she would always love her.”

In India, Kala is praying to Ganesha about her upcoming wedding, and “trying to become a better person.” She doesn’t want to marry Rajan even though her parents are excited, and the astrologer said he be the “perfect hubby.” She doesn’t love him.

Wolfgang and Felix are talking about S &D safe, and Wolfgang’s obsession to crack them. His father couldn’t. They are in Felix’s shop. They have a heist coming up.

Nomi and “Neets” are at the charity event. Nomi talks to producers– the piece is a “downer.” They want to bring PRIDE back to its roots. The showing is sad.During the theatrical show, Nomi sees Angelica.

Will and his partner, Diego, talk about his vision.

Will tells him, “I could feel the wind from the broken window, and smell the burnt mattress.”

His partner pretty much reacts in the way I would. “Whatever, “Dr./Officer Strange.”

Will and Diego are called out. They have a talk in their vehicle about “Gangbangers” and cops, and relate them to how cats hate dogs.

Diego tells him he should hate them after, “what they did to his old man.”

Wolfgang  and Felix successfully breach security. He starts cracking the S&D safe, but becomes tense when he hears sirens. (He is hearing Will’s sirens.)

Flash to Riley comfortable in a chair listening to music. She hears the noise from cracking the safe and sirens, but after going to the window doesn’t see any flashing lights. Or cop cars. (She is hearing both Will and Wolfgang.)

Will is under fire. He finds a young gang member, and decides to help him. DeShaun decides not to shoot him. He carries him out of the building. Against counsel of his partner.

Wolfgang decides to watch television. He is too tense and needs a break. Felix warns him he has less than an hour before his cousin arrives. He watches an European version of The Voice.

Will tries to comfort DeShaun. He talks about his dad being a cop, and the things he did when he was young.

Flashback to a rebellious young Will giving his father a hard time.

Wolfgang talks about the singer he wants to win.

Alfie calls her a “camel” stating she won’t win, and she doesn’t.

Flashback to Wolfgang as a child nervous, and on stage. Teacher prompting him to sing with his father standing in the back of the crowd laughing.

The contestant he roots for loses. His disappointment shows, yet he is focused.

Will arrives at the hospital with DeShaun his arms pleading for help. The nurse turns him away stating they don’t take gun shot wounds anymore because of kids like him. She gives in assessing the grave nature of the wound.

Wolfgang runs out of time as his cousin, Steiner, closes in. Felix is anxious. He cracks the “uncrackable” safe, and leaves with the diamonds.

The nurse updates Will and Diego on DeShaun’s surgery. He made it through surgery.

“But if he lives and kills a cop, how will he feel?”

Riley is with Nocker, Jacks, and Nyx– They are doing DMT. She is listening to music.

The Antlers- Kettering is playing The Antlers- Kettering

The guys are talking one minute, and the next they are stoned out of their gourd.

Except Nyx, he talks to Riley. Tells her she doesn’t need to be scared.

He tells her she’s not only beautiful on the outside– on the inside too. How he doesn’t think she belongs with these men, and she knows it.

“I used to be like you like the exposed root of a broken tooth. Used everything I could to isolate it. Books, music, booze, pills.. Anything I could to keep separate from the rest of the world. Eventually I felt protected and safe. But I felt completely alone.  Until one day my friend gave me a gift it tore down my armor.. it reminded me what it felt like to be alive.”

His friend gave him DMT.  She tries it.

She sees Will and Diego like she is right there with them. Will sinks back into the car like he can feel her at his window.

Riley is walking into a cave.

Will says, “Stop the car!”

Riley there with him says, “This is where it happened. Where she killed herself.”

Will realizes it wasn’t only a dream. The place familiar to him because he’s been there before. The drugs, the mattress, and says ” there was a gun.”

Diego leaves unconvinced of anything substantial. He tells Will if he can find evidence a crime was committed then they can  start looking into what happened there.

Will hangs behind feeling the mattress.

Riley appears saying, “She died here. I saw her.”

She tells him she lives in London, and doesn’t know where she is. She has never been to America.

Shooting!

Riley screams, “STOP!” (Flash Wills face)

Jacks tells her Nyx wanted her to come.

They are robbing him. A shipment of DMT came in. They knock him out. She tries to go, but Jacks keeps talking telling her it is her chance to go to America. It is their break they have been waiting for– their chance for a different life.

They all start shooting each other. She is covered in blood. END

Final Thoughts–

We see Angelica in the beginning giving birth. It implies she’s done it before. Makes you wonder if there are other “sensates,” and what happened to them?

Also, what is her history with Whiskers? Did she turn on Jonas to work with Whiskers in the past?

Was Whiskers a sensate? How is his psychic connection explained?

Does Wolfgang have a legitimate job. Or is he a thief? Felix has a shop. Does he work with him? Is it a cover?

In the beginning Will had a headache, but did you notice he wasn’t the only one?

What happened to Riley landing her in the drug trade?

Do they all have a headache because Angelica killed herself, and they are starting to have new abilities?

I like how the show brought culture into the story. Seeing how Africa is. Marriages in India. Kala feeling unworthy to pray. The acceptance of gays– even though I could have done without so much of the sex scenes.

What happened to Riley in the cave?

What happened to Will’s Dad on the job?

Who is the girl haunting Will’s dreams — who he couldn’t help/save?

Have you seen this episode? What are your thoughts?