Posted in Blogging, Life, Writing

Frustrations

Life Lately…

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Summer started and brought with it a whirlwind of business, chaos, and distractions.

Maybe even some new frustrations, but it’s okay. I’ll deal with ’em. I’m a big girl.

I love summer! Nice weather. Kicking into relaxation-mode. Enjoying time with family and friends.

Today we are packing for the beach. Well, I have. The whole week I sporadically packed, and realized today how little that mattered.

Every five minutes my daughter asks, “Is it time to go yet!”

My hands are full as I am still packing. “No, not yet! But soon!”

My son lazily saunters into the room after she is gone. “When are we leaving?”

Ugh. “Later.”

My husband is putting together his car. Hopefully with the new automatic transmission swap it will run. It has been on jack-stands for months.

Last night, he sat lazily on the couch as I did all the legwork for our travel preparations. I asked him to help our son pack his stuff. He coached him from the couch. Hmph. 

As of right now, I think we are packed. Maybe. Knowing me I may have forgotten a thing or two. I have the essentials covered that is the important thing. I hate packing!

A family member is staying at the house with the dog. We paid the bills today. Yesterday we were “beautified.” We had haircuts and as my daughter says “I had my hair painted.”

Today we finish up with putting some color on our hands, and feet. This morning as I was plucking my eyebrows an all too familiar conversation played out in my head between my best friend and me when I tried waxing them myself.

She never let me live it down. I waxed them off. She said I would.

Needless to say I never did that again.

Anyway– all bases are covered.

I will be writing while I am away. It will be my first time at the beach since I was a girl! I will take you along with me!

Stay tuned.

Lynne

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Posted in Poetry

Innocence

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Innocence. © LC 2016

Countless hours in
my room spent–tied up in knots–
lost in innocence.
Trails we blazed like those before–
spent laughing at the dumb boys.
Flirting as we walked.
“I’ll never date him.” Though I
remember our first
kiss. Awkward. Silly. Just friends.

Posted in Poetry

Memories

Memories. © 2016 LC

My mind swims with 17 years of memories.
You were my best friend, my partner in crime.
Today in church, an empty pew, no wisecracks,
no long brown stringy hair– no matter how much you brushed it.
Though I wanted to cry, I didn’t and I was proud.
The first time I have been there since you left us.
My life seems so much less colorful with you gone.
When I visit your grave site all is the way you’d like it.
With pretty flowers all around, pretty pinks and blues.
I pulled the weeds– and maybe a growing flower on accident.
It looked like a weed!
I knew if you were watching you’d laugh.
Your laugh was contagious.
Nobody could be sad around you.
You always knew what to say,
and even said what you shouldn’t.
But that was just the way you were.
I loved you anyway. Always will.

Posted in Poetry

Forever in My Heart

Forever in my Heart. © 2016 LC

She sleeps in comfort of an oak box ,
six feet deep in the cold ground.
Surrounded by beautiful flowers and marble rocks.
Lines of giant maple trees stand watch around.
She walks with Jesus now–
This isn’t her home any longer.
Though she was hurting inside–
Now she is stronger.
Her life lived in vain.
Unhappiness an unwelcome guest.
Though now she stands in his glorious reign,
As every thought, regret, and sadness is taken off her chest.
The reunion with her newborn son,
the happiness she must feel.
As they stand in the shining sun,
Of the proof– this is what she believed in. Heaven.  It’s real.
Though I visit her grave ,
I know her soul is home well at rest.
Though grief may enslave,
The chains I must let go and fight the unrest.
I will keep you forever in my heart,
Until I see you again.
That way we will never part,
As you will always be my best friend.

Posted in Poetry

Small Towns

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Small Towns
® 2016 LC

Living in a small town
you will come to know
the names of those who run around
with every Tom, Dick, and Harry– to “Mr. Married Joe Shmoe.”
Living here things never change.
The gossip always seems to flow.
And you can always seem to get by–
with just who it is you know.
The High School Home Coming Queen,
still thinks she has it goin on.
Even though that was 15 years ago.
Pity she never grew up to see the light of dawn.
The high school jock–
Yeah, he is still a jerk.
He frequents the local bar–
every night after work.

Things never change here,
even though the people sometimes do.
And it’s hard to tell what you’d see or hear,
If you would come passing through.

We have robberies at our little store now,
and crack dealers living close-by.
It’s not safe for kids to play outside.
Children are overdosing on heroin with their parents left behind.

Neighbors are putting up privacy fences.
No one is friendly anymore.
When I was small we got together for BBQs,
But it’s not like it was before.

Living in a small town,
everyone knows your name.
Everyone knows your business.
Going places.. is the same.

Photo Credit- Suburban Men

Posted in Music

Don’t Panic

Some lyrics stick in your head no matter what you do!

Coldplay-Bones

Bones sinking like stones
All that we’ve fought for
Homes, places we’ve grown
All of us are done for
We live in a beautiful world
Yeah we do
Yeah we do
We live in a beautiful world
Bones sinking like stones
All that we’ve fought for
Homes, places we’ve grown
All of us are done for
We live in a beautiful world
Yeah we do
Yeah we do
We live in a beautiful world
We live in a beautiful world
Yeah we do
Yeah we do
We live in a beautiful world
Oh all that I know
There’s nothing here to run from
Cause here
Everybody here’s got somebody to lean on
Posted in Blogging, Writing

Day 16: Writing Challenge

Day 16: Writing Challenge: Something that you miss.

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One– I miss being a child.

Living at home with my parents. My dad and grandmother alive. Things were simpler then. I didn’t have the worries I have now.

As children, we are more carefree. No bills. No children or households to manage.  No relationships to struggle with. Didn’t have to worry as much about people around me dying. I worried about it then, but not like I do now.

Friends have died. Young as they were. Family– unexpectedly. Death comes for us all. No matter how old we are. When it is our time, we go home. It is a reality I struggle with as an adult. When we aren’t ready to say goodbye.

As we grow older, we watch our parents grow older. Our worries become their worries. We worry about them.

I can hear my mother gasping for breath walking. I see the faces she makes struggling with her legs using the stairs. I am the one watching her as she leaves. Like she watched me when I was young. I see the pain in my father’s face. My biological mother’s using a cane when she walks.

Not only do we care for our children and our families. We care for our parents when they grow older. Like they cared for us when we were young.

We listen to their stories no matter how many times they tell them because they are important to them. They want us to know they lived. We cannot find the knowledge they have accumulated in their lifetime elsewhere.  They want to feel useful. 

If only we would listen to them, we could use their life experiences to live better lives. My parents often give great advice. Things were hard when they grew up, but it seems like things are worse now. 

People easily offended by everything. Governments falling apart. Children killing each other and their parents. Drug epidemics….

With all of this, I have my own children to raise. I worry about them in out in the world. I always worry if I am doing enough. If I am doing the right thing. The voice inside my head eats away at me with these fears.

It isn’t easy being a parent. My parents tell me I do a good job, and it’s nice to hear it from them.

I want to raise my children with the right values so they learn how to be responsible adults. Providing them with a happy home where they are free to be themselves. Hopefully, they grow up doing something they love.

When you grow older, you miss home. Being a kid. How you felt sleeping in your bed. The talks you had with your parents at the kitchen table. The hugs.

It is amazing how it feels to be a parent. Watching them learn and grow. Teaching them things. Showing them things from when I was little. It’s like experiencing childhood over again through their eyes. Watching them blossom into their own little individual.

I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

You learn to appreciate your parents (and grandparents) more when you become a parent.

Everything they gave up for you. Everything they sacrificed. Yeah, they did it all for you. So love your parents and take good care of them because when you were young they did the same for you!

Two– I miss hanging out with my Dad.

When my mom was at work, my dad couldn’t stand being bored. We found something to do! If it was Sunday and we were riding in the car, oldies were on!

Dad loved oldies and instilled an appreciation for them at an early age. We sang them. Or whistled them. I still do.

I remember, “Itsy, Bitsy, Teany, Weany, Yellow-Polka-Dot Bikini.” Dad said it was my song. I hated wearing a bathing suit, but I loved swimming as much as he did. After we would eat at one of his favorite restaurants, Wendy’s or Kentucky Fried Chicken.

If we weren’t swimming, we might visit my Aunt Ruthie. Dad played Solitaire, and she fixed him something to eat. She tried keeping me occupied. It didn’t always work. If I told Dad I was bored, we left. She never liked that.

I learned as I grew older, Aunt Ruthie was the family historian. Pretty cool! We didn’t visit her as often after Dad passed because she lived out in the sticks, and kept to herself in the same way I suppose our family did.

Every time I ran into her she would say, “You look just like your dad.” Made me feel good. Like he was a part of me somehow even though he was gone.

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Me and my Dad.

Three– I miss my grandma’s cooking!

No one could cook or bake like my grannie could! She made the best homemade noodles, and dumplings you would ever want to eat. Her pies and cookies– delicious. If her cookies didn’t turn out, they went in the trash.

I am guilty of doing the same thing. They all laugh at me, but I know where I got it from. I never realized it either until my mother pointed it out– “Why are you throwing those good cookies away!”

I had forgotten all about it.

“Because they didn’t turn out!” *Laughter*

My favorite pie was lemon. She made it especially for me. It made me feel special.

That was Nanny, she made things for people to make them feel special. When I was younger, she would let me help bake cakes with her. We always had fun!

Something no one has made since she has passed is her rolls. I said I would try, but I haven’t yet. I can make other things like she could, but rolls were her “thing.” Maybe one day I will.  Everyone went crazy over them!

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Nanny and her sister. Trip to Missouri when I was 16. One of the only times Nanny asked to be photographed.

Four– I miss my Dad’s 1955 Dodge

My dad brought me up with an appreciation for old cars. When parades were nearby, we rode in them. Threw candy.

The car was in great shape. She was pretty. She was his “pride and joy.” With only 55,000 original miles.

My sister inherited it when he passed away. Put it in a garage. Never drove it. Later gave it to my mother. She sold it.

Now it’s gone. I miss her. 

I remember sitting on those vinyl seats. Propping the windows open. They were weird.

But the times we had in that car– priceless. Even when he made up songs about me to tease me. He knew I hated that by the way I twisted up my face, and stuck out my tongue. But it was all in good fun.

** I’ll look for a pic of the Dodge.

Five– I miss my best friend

You don’t ever think a day will pass without them. Until they are gone. It’s lonely.

I miss the way she’d laugh and tease me about things that were probably true if I thought about them. How she would come over like it was her house too with her Diet Mountain Dew. We would stress eat chocolate if we were depressed.

She told me the truth no matter if I wanted to hear it– or not. I could always count on her to be honest. She would stick up for me in a heartbeat because I would do the same for her. No matter what she had done.

She was young with a son of her own. I will never understand the reasons behind it, and I don’t have to. I know God had his reasons. One day maybe I will know what they are, and maybe I won’t.

I know I miss her a lot. Life isn’t always fair, and that is the way it is sometimes. We deal. It hurts. A lot. We eventually heal. In time.

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Beth– My best friend. A face to go with who I write about.

 

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Posted in Daily Prompt, Poetry

My Guardian Angel

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My Guardian Angel
©2016 LC

The stars shining bright–
I wish I could pull them all down.
To see you, again.
The heavens rest peacefully
atop the clouds–
with you gazing down
from the moon.
You whisper to me
in my dreams as
tears roll down my cheeks
“Don’t you dare be sad!
I traded the pain for a halo
and some angel wings!”

Dreams- Daily Prompt

Posted in Poetry

Bullies

Bullies.

L.C. ©  2016

They hurt and leave scars

in places no one can see.

They toy with emotions

such is the way.. with a bully.

They think they are superior

picking on those who are small.

By making their victims feel inferior–

Because they don’t know how to stand tall.

The damage caused by words–

Brings a veil of anxiety.

Bullies think they rule the “herd,”

and with their words bring misery.

Hatred is easily wrought over nothing.

Words are like sharp-edged knives until one day actions form.

Bystanders easily dismiss a person’s suffering.

The bully becomes the victim– which is the norm.

How different the world would be

if we could all stand together– as friends.

Teaching children to be gutsy–

so bullying can come to an end.