You wake up one morning and find yourself inside a Looney Tunes cartoon with a burning desire to hunt down a certain Bugs Bunny, no matter the cost. What happens next?
I wake with the sun’s debut as the rays sneakily evade the cabin through dark blinds. I hear birds singing their sweet morning songs a little too close to my window. I consider telling them to shove off. Or I will stuff them.
Two things are apparent as I spring myself from my place of comfort– One, I am obviously pretty cranky this morning. Where is the coffee around here? Two, I feel like I should be hunting a rabbit. Can I hunt? I don’t think I have ever liked rabbit. Maybe I have just never tried it. One comes to mind in my sleepy stupor, I think I will know him when I see him.
I notice I am drooling, and carefully wipe the drool from my chin. I fling myself from the bed. I notice stairs leading down from the cozy little loft. I try to make sense of these unfamiliar surroundings– this hunting cabin. The walls are covered with mounted deer, fish, and any kind of animal breathing. A gun rack is mounted above the impressive built-in fire place holding a couple of engraved Winchester 1873’s. I won’t consider touching those. Nearby a red mahogany gun cabinet sits in the hall, I remind myself to look for the key on the way to the bathroom. It will come in handy hunting down the rabbit.
I find the bathroom nearby the kitchen, which by the way, is nothing impressive. NO coffee pot. Really? Who doesn’t have one of those? My belly growls like some ferocious beast, and reminds me this rabbit has to die! My business is quick. I have no desire to catch up with the outside word, and I skip the shower. This rabbit has taken over my thought process. Must have rabbit!
I run out of the bathroom, and am quick to dress. I throw on my hunting gear, lace up my boots, and grab a hunting rifle. Wondering if I do indeed know how to work one of these things. Guess I will find out! I wonder where he could be, and what he could possibly be doing right now. But it really doesn’t matter. Because I will find him.
When I step out of the cabin, I notice.. I’m in a cartoon??? What! How did I get here?
My hunger overwhelms me as my hunger pangs pierce my gut. My feet take off as if they have the wings of Apollo on them. I look down, and they do. Awesome! This should make it easier. I feel like I am floating on air.
The deer look up from eating grass, and leap away happily. Making sounds like coil-springs. Chipmunks are having a picnic on the grass. That is when I see the tracks… Rabbit tracks.
I follow them through the thick fall foliage. I am careful to be very quiet while I’m tracking, but my stomach growling is not helping. I don’t remember when the last time I ate. In fact, I don’t remember anything passed this morning. Weird.
I see more tracks. I find where the furry cretin lives. I must be getting close when I am whacked with an iron skillet.
When I wake, I see hummingbirds flying over my head. I hear coo-coo. I feel that way. Ow, my head. I rub the knot on the back of my neck that instantly grows as long as Pinocchio’s nose.
I try to move, but cannot. I am securely tied to a chair. I squint trying to take in my surroundings, but it’s dark. I am underground? In a rabbit hole? What the hell?
A light flashes on, and I realize we are in a living room. Big enough for a rabbit, obviously, though not big enough for a human. It’s colorful. Not a bad bachelor pad, rabbit. TV, recliner, bookshelf.
I look down as if first realizing I AM a cartoon. Glaring into a mirror I notice I am brighter, and sharper in ways I wasn’t before. I like the way I am drawn. Remind me to thank the artist. I think I have grown a cup or two. Although, how did I get here, and why can’t I remember anything?
“So what’s up, Doc? Why are you hunting rabbit?” A tall, grey talking rabbit asks me. He gnaws on a giant orange carrot with his white-gloved hands, and he looks a little pissed.
I hope you liked it. I have been away for a week!! I was faithful to my writing habit every morning the week before last, then we had company. Still, I found time to work. I’m back with it, again. Getting up early. Still working. Just haven’t had time to post!
I’ll make it back! Hope everyone has been having a good summer!